Release Me

I woke up with a fragments of a song in my head this morning. I heard it yesterday in Jazzercise and it has been rolling around in my head ever since. And when I looked up the lyrics I almost laughed out loud. Let me explain.

Try to picture this. There are 40 – 50 women. Varying ages, shapes and sizes. Jocks, Rocks, Dancers, Divas. But also there are the Wrinkled, Sagging, Wishful and Wanna-bes. We collectively come together to cheer each other on. We motivate and inspire. All this done by just showing up. And while I am there, working on my outer shell, God works on my inner health.  He motivates and inspires. Not for the goal of perfection in the physical. But for the transforming of my perspective.

You see, every woman there works for the goal of seeing herself beautiful. Not just being beautiful. But SEEING herself as beautiful. Some are satisfied, some are killing themselves trying. Most think it is an endless battle they ultimately lose.

But God shows up to tell anyone who will listen how pleased He is that we are taking care of something He loves so very much. And an odd moment occurs every time I go. When you get us all side by side, sweat by sweat, you can really see the beauty and diversity of God. He has made us. Each one. Every one.   What a lot of people call working out, I call Worship.  Because I kid you not, when I show up to invest in this body that God has given me, He meets me there. And He sings over me. Really. 

In the gym, it is really loud, and the workout is really strenuous. But God will have some line blurt out in the middle of a song. It happens like an answer to the question in my head. It happens a lot. So now, I’ve learned to tune my ear. Instead of it being a random, bizarre experience, it is part of our connection, our conversation.

Yesterday, my question to Him was about how to manage all the desires of my heart and still manage the real life demands that coexist. All I heard was:

Release me, release my body…
blah blah blah

Release me, cause I’m not able to…
blah blah blah

Release me, I just can’t do this myself…
blah blah blah

The remainder of the day, I sang those lines. “Release me.” Release me from my need to demand and control. “Release me, cause I’m not able to” do this life alone, nor do I want to. Release me to see You and feel You. Release me from the lie that it is all up to me, all on me, all about me. “I just can’t do this myself.”

So when those lines surfaced again this morning, I looked up the whole song by Agnes. And it is crazy. This song is about a woman who can’t break away from a bad relationship. It has an “addictive hold.” She has no voice or thought except to be consumed by this man. She “knows it’s wrong” but wants it anyway. So she sings, “Release me…” The problem is who is she asking? There is not an addiction that will release you for the asking, nor a user that will stop using because you are hurting. So we are destined to “do what we do not want to do.” Unless. Unless we ask the Right Person to release us.  There is a Healer, a Warrior, a Savior who died to release us from this body of death.  This Lover longs to see us soar in Him, to be released into all that He has ever created us to be.

Who are you asking to release you? You really can’t do this alone.