Real Questions

Seth’s Blog: 8 Questions and a Why

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I like the way Seth Godin thinks out of the box. Now I can’t go all the way with him. In fact, Jesus is the only person I can go all the way with all the time. But these are just good questions. Good as in, get in your craw and unsettle you. I like questions like that. And if you want to really be bold…Go answer the questions. I am.

Jana

8 Questions and a Why

Who are you trying to please?

What are you promising?

How much money are you trying to make?

How much freedom are you willing to trade for opportunity?

What are you trying to change?

What do you want people to say about you?

Which people?

Do we care about you?

(and after each answer, ask ‘why?’)

Real Question #5: What About Boredom?

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May I be candid?  Boredom is often a lack of vision and gratitude.  Hear me out.  When you lack vision and purpose, then you can easily feel like what you are doing is beneath you or insignificant.  But when you know the greater good or goal, then the mundane (which is still mundane) becomes part of a bigger puzzle rather than the end result.

For example, laundry wears me out.  It is tiresome, boring and never-ending.  But it is not the sum total of me as a woman, wife or mother.  It is a piece of the mundane that simply gets done.  Here is where the gratitude kicks in.  The other day, I literally said out loud as  I was changing the clothes over, “Thank you, Lord, that I don’t have to carry all these clothes to a river and pound them with a rock.  Thank you that I have machines that wash and dry them.  Thank you that I have clean water to wash them in.”  Granny always said, “Count your blessings.”

If you find you are “bored” with your life as a whole, then that is a great invitation to go back to the Lord to discover your strengths, dream and passions.  I am currently reading the  book, Your Strongest Life.  It is specifically written for women who want to live life to the fullest.  I highly recommend it as a temperature check on whether you are checking out, wimping out, or launching!

www.stronglifetest.com

Death Begets Death

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Normally, we try to look at one real question on Wednesdays. Today, I’m not answering just one question. I’m answering ten! I know this is a loaded topic…BUT one worth talking about since it affects 1 out of 5 women. I was approached by a high school student with these questions and thought I would share my answers.

1. Do you believe abortion is morally correct?
No.

2. In what circumstances do you believe abortion is socially acceptable?
Never.

3. In your opinion, is the third trimester too late to perform an abortion?
Absolutely.

4. Do you believe abortion can cause depression or mental side effects?
Absolutely. In addition, it can cause nightmares, rage attacks, self-hatred leading to eating disorders, cutting, addictions to drugs and alcohol. Anything to numb the pain. It also causes long- lasting trauma to relationships, something people rarely discuss. This breach in conscience prevents future trusting relationships, especially with men.

5. What do you believe causes the women to have abortion as an option?
Fear. Fear of being alone, of being stuck with baby, of being “fat”, of being found out, of losing their life, of being a bad mother.

6. As an estimate, how many people do you know who have had an abortion?
I know personally 20+ but have counseled more than a 100 women.

7. Under the circumstances, what age is most common related to abortions?
17-25 is my guess.  Middle school girls think having a baby is “cool” and often decide to parent rather than release for adoption. Most occur around end of high school or in college when a woman feels like “she has her whole life ahead of her.”  Funny that the mother’s life has greater value than the life of her unborn baby.

8. Do you believe that the male has a substantial part in the decision process of an abortion?
Ahhhh, tough question. Yes, I do morally now. But when faced with that, I moved forward regardless of his decision.

9. Do you believe that the parents of the female play an important role in the decision process of abortion?
Many many abortions happen with the push of over active parents. They are more concerned with reputation than the value of life and the value of hardship in character building for their child. And many girls also have abortions out of fear of their parents finding out. They are trying to hide the evidence, as it were.

10. Can previous abortions cause emotional problems in future relationships and the start of a family?
I mentioned this but absolutely… Many women I have counseled with “withheld” this secret for fear of rejection from their husbands. So they are grieving in silence. It causes sexual disconnect and all kinds of trauma around having children in the future. “I killed one baby how can I welcome this one,” is the mentality.

Also there is a HUGE medical issue of damage done during the procedure where STDs are spread, damage to the cervix and tearing of the uterus.  Abortion is one of the riskiest medical procedures ever and it has NO medical oversight or accountability.  It absolutely affects the ability to bear children in the future.

A few more comments if I may?
I had an abortion at the age of 18. It was one of the most painful things I had ever lived through, physically, emotional and spiritually.  No one ever told me the truth about any of those things prior to the procedure. But more information is not the answer necessarily.  At that time, we made sure it was never called a baby, so when I found that out, I was doubly horrified. Today, we know it is a baby and call it a baby, but we so undervalue the intrinsic worth of a human being, it causes perhaps more harm. Mom has no value so baby has no value. And so even after abortion, mom continues to suffer from lack of value and worth which often leads to more sex, dirtier partners, more pregnancies, more abortions, etc.

I debated a woman from Planned Parenthood once and challenged her point that she was “empowering women.”  Empowering women is not accomplished by killing women and men, even if they are in fetus stage. Empowering women is to teach them about actions and consequences; sex leads to babies. But also about the overwhelming energy given to a woman when she is taught how to harness her passions and focus them on good and long-term results.  Parenting and adoption is incredibly hard. But they are choices that lead to life and hope and possibilty.

Abortion is quick and final. No life, no hope, no possibility.

Healing is my final point. I know many women who have tried many things to wash away the guilt of the blood on their hands. It has been my experience that only the blood of Jesus has the power to do that. I am not a church lady. But my life was radically transformed when I realized that even though I was a murderer, God still loved me.  It was a long arduous road to recover my heart, but one I am thankful for beyond measure.