Pearls of Wisdom: On Sex, Beauty, and Worth

I think I shied away from continuing to talk about sex and beauty. In my mind, my kids had heard it all before. We have been talking about sex and beauty since they were toddlers. Now as teens, their pushback was working. The rolled eyes, the “I know, Mom!” comments, the sighing and huffing was enough to deter one more lecture.  But then, I saw the brokenness and confusion around sex and beauty and I knew it needed to be talked about. Again.

I was reminded of a weighty word the other day that’s worth repeating. It’s more than ‘save sex.’ It’s the WHY of sex. 

God is always in the details. It’s important to know that the very first “shedding of blood” was not for the clothing after the Fall. It was the blood covenant of marriage between the man and the woman. 

In the garden, the man and woman were naked and unashamed. God covered the woman’s vagina with a thin membrane called the hymen.  And when this “veil” was torn, the small amount of blood signified the covenant she entered with God and Adam as the “two became one flesh.”  It was a holy contract. And their heirs, the children they produced through their love, became a reminder of God’s faithfulness, because they too have  passed through the veil of the blood covenant.


The symbolism is breath-taking. Do we teach this kind of beauty to our children? Because if we did, the worth of our sexuality just might go far beyond our current standard.

(This is an extremely short version. See Kris Valloton, Moral Revolution)

In light of such honor, the demonic abuse and distortion plainly seen. Turn on any channel.

We are more than objects and animals.

I want to remind us of the Why of God’s heart:  to protect something sacred and honored. We set a high standard of purity because we agree that God’s way is best. “The marriage bed is to be honored by all.” Hebrews 13:4  

So we count virginity for women and men as a great treasure because they have fought and defended what God prizes. We count marital faithfulness as a great treasure because we don’t allow the enemy to invade our Holy Ground. We don’t apologize for setting a standard that reflects the heart of God.

And. With grace, we understand that not all fight this battle to the end. We take courage and comfort in our sexual failures, because the blood of Jesus washes us from all stains. All. Stains.

Yet we do not deviate from the standard. God’s way is best. Every. Time.

Continue reading

Men behaving…like Jesus…

Hello friends,
I am trying to help Chuck get in contact with your men, husband, friend, or boyfriend. He and two other men are starting a new group this Tuesday night that will repeat every other Tuesday night. Please read his letter below. It is not like every other men’s group. It is focused on real hope and  freedom.  And all God’s women said, Amen!

I am starting a new group with Ray Heath and Allen Suffridge.

It’s not a lot of notice – but we’ll start meeting  this Tuesday night, 7 pm at Greenbrier Apartments club house.
After that we’ll meet every other week.
If this looks like a fit to you, reply and I’ll add you to our contact list.
Greenbrier Apartment Club House, 3920 Lonas Rd, Knoxville, TN 37909

High level, here’s what we care about:

Most guys we know are wrestling with the deep love of the Father toward them.
They might not see how good the good news really is, and that ends up expressing itself in various forms of coping,
especially sexuality getting twisted around, and anger that spews over the people we say we love the most.
We believe there’s hope for real change, and that we can live different lives.

You’ve heard this before.  You might be a little pissed off about it, even.
It all sounds so good, but where is the real change?
Maybe you look at your  New Testament and think: guess what, I’m not experiencing this abundant life I read there.
Is it even possible?

We think it is.  To various degrees, the three of us have walked through a lot of mess and seen Jesus move in amazing ways in our lives.
Come check it out, and if you hate it, no harm – no foul.  You don’t have to come back.

But our hope is to foster an environment where guys can get real about what’s really happening in their lives, and know they’ve got guys they can trust around them that can keep pointing them back to the love of the Father toward them, the desire of Jesus to share this walk with them, and the power, grace and truth that Holy Spirit has to make all this possible in their real life here in Knoxville.

We’re not out to fix anyone, only God can do that, so don’t expect that this is a group where you have to become the poster child for vulnerability and then everyone’s going to gang up on you and preach at you.  No, we’ll keep it pretty simple.  Talk about what you need to talk about.  Listen to other guys (you might learn something from their stories and their current struggles).  And – please don’t come with the mind that you need to fix someone else, and please don’t think this will be a place where you can trash your wife or your girl friend, because we think she just might be your greatest ally in the pathway out.

Feel free to forward this to a buddy of yours if you want.  We’re open to anyone coming, as long as they get that we are going to be talking pretty plainly about these three things (love of God, sexual purity, release from anger).


Chuck Spicka
(865) 235-1558