It was one of those middle of the night Jesus wake-up calls. I was having terrible dreams anyway so the tug to get up was a relief. I grabbed a blanket off the bed and sat in a chair in the dark. Chuck’s steady breathing was the only sound.
The last comment I remembered from my dream was “where is my heart?” I just sat there in a half awake stupor trying to sort real from spirit from dreaming. It was so bright outside that I thought the moon was out but as my eyes adjusted I realized the white was snow.
I walked out into the kitchen and saw my snow- covered deck. “It’s supposed to be spring,” I mumbled to myself. And as I pondered the paradox of snow in March, the lesson began. “Your heart?” The Spirit pressed on me.
“My heart is covered in snow. It’s supposed to be blooming, but it’s covered in snow.” I whispered quietly.
“But Spring is coming,” He said.
“You’re gonna have to do something about this snow first, ” I said, half joking, half begging. Then I heard a line from a song. “All My love is for you, All My Love is yours.”
I stood there barefooted, wrapped in a blanket, stunned…
This conversation has been persisting for almost a week now. And Jesus, being the “Faithful Strength” that He is, has been so patient, so tender, so encouraging.
Here are some points to ponder thus far:
Don’t rush the process. God is taking His own sweet time in bringing relief and revelation to me. So I am choosing to slow down, cut out, start fresh, whatever it takes to be able to listen when He brings insight.
Confess the hurt. God is really challenging me to not fake, dismiss, or minimize the season. My heart is really going through the ringer. He is revealing wounding, sin and potential all in one loving step. Only God can do that well. But a few true friends can ease the journey. So He has asked me to share, but to share with wisdom. “Above all else, guard your heart.” Don’t hide it, guard it.
Believe in the promises. Just because the route changes, doesn’t mean the destination has. God has not changed His promises so He has asked me to stand on Him even when everything is shifting. I can be uncomfortable, even miserable, and STILL be in Him.
All My love is yours. Hard to feel sorry for yourself and believe this at the same time. He has given medicine for every cut, and comfort for every heartache. True to His nature, He has also given humor.
Look at the photo I took just yesterday. I rolled out ready to scrape off a layer of ice and the Lord stopped me. “Oh look,” He said. “There is ice on your car. But it is melting. I wonder what is melting the ice?”
“Very funny. You are so very funny. The sun…. or is that the Son? ” I said laughing. “I got it. I got it. The Son will melt the ice on my heart.”
Thank you Jesus. Your presence is our every hope.