Confessions of a Woman in Process

I enjoyed preparing for three celebrations at my house recently, a bridal shower, a baby shower, and a team work retreat for my husband’s company. The cooking and decorating stirred my heart in different ways.  I thought I’d share with you what I wrote for the bride to be:

“Preparing for this shower was a good time to reflect, marvel, mourn,  and give thanks. It began with the tablecloths. Looking through my tablecloths was like peeking into my past. Some I bought, some were gifts, some I made. One cloth is from my friend. It is a patchwork, diverse and beautiful. Like our friendship. There is the one I paid too much for and have never really liked. But I keep it because it is neutral and necessary. A lot of life lessons are like this: expensive but useful. Then there is the outside cloth, the lace cloth, the zebra cloth, the red cloth that used to be a curtain but I loved the color so much that I converted it.

All of them have their place and lesson. They are a passage of time, tastes, and stories — lean times and plenty, discoveries of what I liked and who I was, stories that captured a mixture of emotions.

The pink gingham cloth came from my grandmother. It is precious to me.  I don’t use it often but it is a constant in my drawer to choose from. And though it is stained and so out of date, I cannot bear to part with it.

Do that with some of your traditions. Treasure them. Keep them. But don’t feel bound to use them every day.

People whom I loved, studied, mentored, and learned from, all ate at my table with these cloths. We laughed together and cried together. Some of these  people  are now dead or  they’ve moved on to other friendships. It was good for me to serve them. They are forever part of my life,  marriage and  legacy.

Learn to enjoy the beauty of people eating at your table. It is what God himself has done—invited us to feast at His table.

The napkins also caused a lot insight. For a long time in my life and marriage, I wanted everything to be perfect, to match, to be just right.  In fact I wouldn’t let people in my house, and honestly my life, unless it was. The napkins reminded me of that. I’m glad I don’t do that anymore. I’ve relaxed. I’ve got different priorities and values than when I started. I don’t mind the tatters and stains so much. Peace lives in me now, instead of that hounding jackal called perfectionism.

I realized cloth napkins are a lot like marriage. Some of them are durable, they wash and wear easily. Like our daily lives. We need attitudes and beliefs that can stand up to daily use. Some of the napkins faded pretty quickly after use much like expectations and demands we have for each other. Some of the napkins are silky, for romantic dinners at home. I have to remember to keep pulling those out. I have to keep my heart centered on my marriage so that kids and life and work don’t overshadow the love story that began the whole journey in the first place.

There are seasonal napkins, formal napkins and paper napkins. They all have their place in time, in marriage, in life.

Finally, there was the dirty napkin. I have no idea how long it has hidden in the cabinet. But this is October and it is a Christmas napkin.

It reminded me  that I am learning to be nice to me. There is dirt. I may or may not know about. But it will surface sooner or later. And there is grace for that too. For all of it.

By their very nature, napkins clean up messes, beautifully. Expect to have messes on this journey.

But above all enjoy the meal. Enjoy the conversations, the laughter and tears. Listen and learn from those who sit at your table. Young and old. Savor the seasons. Each person, friendship, meal is a gift of time. Learn to serve. Learn to be served. Be nice to yourself. The pressure is off.

Give yourself time and permission to Learn how to love. Marriage, and life, doesn’t have to be perfect. Just make sure you have lots of napkins along the way.”

Twists and Turns and the Peace of God

My brain got twisted around on Saturday.  So on Sunday, in worship, I just sat there. No singing. No standing even. Just sitting.

And as I felt the Spirit of God pulling on my heart I began to cry because I realized I wasn’t even sitting and looking for his presence. I was content to just sit in my pity party. But God.

I heard the faintest whisper, “Grab your Bible.”  I did and it fell open to Philippians. Oh great, I thought, the whatever is good, noble, blah, blah, blah passage. “Like I haven’t read that a hundred times,” I said aloud through my tears.  The whisper came, “Read it again.”

The whole passage is below. It is medicine for the weary soul. But let me just give you highlights of what I saw as I read  it “again.”

You whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm.   (He still loves me when I’m acting like a brat.)

Let your gentleness by evident to all. (Ouch, I have not been gentle at all.)

The Lord is near. (I know you are Jesus, help me re-focus)

And the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus. ( I have let down my guard so I have no peace.)

Put it in to practice. (Yes, I can try again. I must keep practicing.)

And the God of peace with be with you. (Thank you for never leaving me hopeless.)

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (I am still learning this. I got swept up in the drama.)

I have learned the secret… (Secret? What secret?)

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Yes God. With you all things are possible. Forgive my unbelief.)

I am amply supplied. ( Why do I still question this?)

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (Your grace covers all my weakness. Thank for strengthening my spirit.)

Can I get a Wow and and Amen?

That play on the words  — the peace of God, and the God of peace — was like an IV drip for my spirit. The peace of God will guard me, because the God who is peace is with me. In His presence there is peace and it is the shield and medicine I need.

And everywhere, all the time, the Lord is insisting on P-R-O-C-E-S-S. I must learn to enjoy the journey with Him. There is a secret. I can learn it if I will practice it. There is a truth greater than my need. I can do everything in Him because through Him I am fully resourced.

How then shall I live? By the grace of Jesus in my spirit. Selah.

Oh Spirit of God, how excellent you are in all your ways. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

 

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!

I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. 15 Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; 16 for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need. 17 Not that I desire your gifts; what I desire is that more be credited to your account. 18 I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. 19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

20 To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

21 Greet all God’s people in Christ Jesus. The brothers and sisters who are with me send greetings. 22 All God’s people here send you greetings, especially those who belong to Caesar’s household.

23 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.[a]

Philippians 4, NIV

 

Room for Wonder

We make all kinds of allowances for fear, worry and stress.  We take meds. We have talk shows. We have lots of diagnoses. But I am not sure we are actually getting any where.

My friend Heather said, “this way of life is scandalously simple.” Let me explain the math.

Jesus is the Son of God. He can do anything. (Check your own qualifiers and excuses that just surfaced.) He loves us completely, in fact He adores us.  Lavish is the word that comes to mind.  All through scripture we see Him saying radical things like:

  • Ask and believe.
  • With God all things are possible.
  • If you believe, you will see the glory of God.

Yet we don’t ask. We don’t be believe. And we don’t see His glory.

What are we waiting for??  The Lord told me the other day that I was too comfortable. I wasn’t attempting anything that needed a miracle.  A God life should be so big that it takes God to pull it off.  How big is your life, your ask, your need?  How big is your God? How great is your faith?  Mary turned to Jesus for help when they had run out of wine.  Not a life or death situation. Not healing. It was a party.  And after she asked she immediately turned to the servants and said, “do whatever he tells you do.”

Belief. Waiting. Expecting.

There should always be “room for wonder” in our lives. We have to let go of the control and confines and leave space for God to show up and show off. But instead of waiting in wonder, we often quit, lament, or take it back in our own hands.

Let’s be done, shall we?  Let’s whisper our prayers in faith, fully knowing that He listening and ready to pour out. Let’s pray for others knowing that God is ready to be God to them. Let’s do whatever he tells us. And then let’s sit back after the miracle with hearts full of wonder and give God all the glory for being God. He is so worthy of all our praise.

 

In Conflict, Check the Love Switch

How do we repair relationships without first repairing our own hearts? The Lord and I have talked a lot about how to walk through conflict —you know, the relational blow-ups  that make you want to throw up? or run away? or cry? or break something?

God is depositing so many revelations about how to do life with others, even when it is messy. He is revealing a beauty in the process that is priceless and is almost worth the pain even. He is teaching me and you how to live as He lives. In Perfect Love.

Revelation One is to assess  why  this conflict is so big on our radar? Why the over the top emotional reaction ( select from prior list or add your own)?  Why go there? God loves you and me. God loves the other person. We are both good.  So let’s take a deep breath and just let the Holy Spirit tweak and heal without all the drama caused by insecurities. There is a peace that passes understanding. Drama steals that peace. So wait on the Lord to bring clarity, truth, and hope.

Speaking of insecurities, that is Revelation Two. We react because we are afraid the love has run out. Danny Silk calls it the Love Switch,  and when we get hurt the first thing we do is turn the Love Switch  off.    We get stung by actions or words and then we question the intentions of the offending person. Does this person really love me? Is this person safe? Without clearly knowing the love connection, the commitment to relationship, it is difficult to trust. So we scramble, attack, hide or blame.

We want to “resolve the problem” but where is the love? We have to let the Lord first heal our hearts through forgiveness and grace so we can get the love back on for that person. Intention is a two way street. How are we communicating our continued love in this hard circumstance? Are we still speaking love and affection even though there is conflict? Through Jesus, is the Love Switch on?

As believers, we know this is a reality that Jesus is pleased to empower because His love is everlasting.  He is teaching us how to love as He loves.  Keep your love switch on. This requires faith. Strong faith that God is truly working all things for your good, but also  for the other person’s good.  (I’m glad He is God. This makes my head hurt.)

“What are you, man, if you do not learn love?”  This question posed by Shawn MacDonald in the song Simply Nothing sums up Revelation Two.

And finally, Revelation Three came by way of  a pertinent blog by Seth Godin. When God is talking, teaching, healing, He brings truth from all directions. Read it and let the Lord have His way in your conflict.  Conflict  is part of our transformation.  We can press in to learn how to enjoy it because we trust the end result.  “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

Two questions behind every disagreement, by Seth Godin

Are we on the same team? and

What’s the right path forward?

Most of time, all we talk about is the path, without having the far more important but much more difficult conversation about agendas, goals and tone.

Is this a matter of respect? Power? Do you come out ahead if I fail? Has someone undercut you? Do we both want the same thing to happen here?

The reason politics in my country is diverging so much from useful governance has nothing to do with useful conversations and insight into what the right path is. It’s because defeat and power and humiliation and money have replaced “doing what works for all of us” as the driving force in politics.

If you feel disrespected, the person you disagree with is not going to be a useful partner in figuring out what the right path going forward might be. If one party (employee/customer/investor) only wins when the other party loses, what’s the point of talking about anything but that?

Deal with the agenda items and the dignity problems first before you try to work out the right strategic choices. (emphasis added)

The Promise of Transformation

I am not sure anyone ever questions that a tomato will turn red. From its gangly green stalk to its delicate yellow flower, the idea, the goal is always the same.  A red tomato. Sooner or later. We watch for them because we have “faith” that it will become what it was planted to do.

As this tomato ripened on my deck, going from green to red, I watched the gradual change. I couldn’t discern the change daily. But over a “season” of time, it warmed up and graduated into its best self, a vibrant red beauty.

All of nature does this “ripening” process. Going from one stage to another, but always with a certain goal.  For sure there inhibitors—bugs, lack of rain, ground rot. Life. But none of these deter the goal for which the plant was created.

We were created for the process of transformation. We all get to watch and observe the miracle of God in us. We may not be able to see it daily. But God is “ripening” all of us. In due time, we will able to see His life revealed in us. His goal is that we would be seen for who we were always intended to be: His vibrant beauties. It is His great promise to all His children.

I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness
      in the exuberant earth.
   Stay with God!
      Take heart. Don’t quit.
   I’ll say it again:
      Stay with God.

Psalm 27: 13-14,  The Message

 

 

Hidden Masterpieces

Never question the unseen work you do. For God sees. And God enjoys.

I was struck this morning by the heavy fog. Hard to see much of anything until the sun began burning off the haze. And then, at just the right angle, I  noticed along the roads were these beautiful cobwebs strung between the power cables.  If you drove right up on them they disappeared. But with the donning of the dew, you could see their delicate artistry.

Spider webs. Between power lines. If you can visualize it, because they were so hard photograph, the spider’s masterpieces appeared to be on display, an elegant hanging gallery.

But who would see them, except for the dew?  And yet they spin them.  Whether seen or unseen. It is their work, their calling.

“These are hidden masterpieces,” I said to the Lord.  The Spirit whispered this verse, “Your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”  (Matthew 6)

What are your hidden masterpieces? Will you do them just for the reward of His pleasure? Just for His enjoyment?

Weekly WGR Class? Oh yeah…

Sisters,
FINALLY, after much conversation with the Lord I am going to teach every Thursday instead of every other week.

I know that not everyone can, or desires to, come every week to WGR, which is fine. But some people do desire that and I know for myself that having the steady continuity of a weekly “meal” helps me spiritually. So I am making this available to you.

Also, when we only meet every two weeks, it seems hard for people to connect. And we all need a little more community and connection, even if we don’t think we do.  Smile.

Now let me tell you what’s coming. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see, feel,  hear,  taste what He has for us. Very distinctly He told me at the beach that people don’t trust Him because they don’t experience Him. And they don’t experience Him because they don’t expect Him to show up in their five natural senses. How can you expect Supernatural if you don’t expect natural? So we are going to do all kinds of study, experiments,  worship, stories and reflections to hone our senses, and whet our appetites to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”

The classes will be independent of each other so feel free to miss if you have to,  or you can watch online. You won’t be behind.  If you come (or watch) regularly you will likely get more connecting dots. The choice is yours.

Other big news is Chuck is starting a class with a couple of other men to go deeper into healing and intimacy. So tell your guys about this.  First class is August 28th, and continue every other Tuesday.

 

See you girls on the 23rd at Cedar Springs Church. And  a big shout out to Suzanne Stelling for inviting us in! There is FREEEEEE childcare but you MUST register. Even if you only use it occasionally.

Blessings on you.
Jana

Summer Rain Refreshes More Than The Grass

I love summer. I love getting to work on projects and “hang out” with my kids. I love what seems like a radical schedule shift when school gets out. But now here we are in mid-July and I find this radical shift also has a challenge to it.

It surfaced when I said out loud to the Lord, “my cup is empty.”

Then I realized how little “alone” time I have. For you moms with children younger than mine, I can hear your resounding, “Amen!”

But here is my quick pearl for today. God is always seeking to refresh, water, replenish, renew us. It happened like this for me.

It began to rain really hard, big steady drops. And I heard the faintest whisper, “that would feel so nice.” Immediately, I began recounting all the practical reasons why I didn’t have time to mess with a rain date.

Ever so gently the Lord replayed the comment, “my cup is empty.”

I looked outside at the trees, flowers and grass. They never complained about a good soaking rain. Even nature knows the high cost of being parched and drained from the intense heat. And even nature readily receives the Lord’s refreshing rain.

So out I went. Standing on my deck in the pouring rain. Not hours. But minutes. Enough to get soaked. I cupped my hands and let the rain form little pools in my hands. I couldn’t help but laugh as I tilted my head back to let the raindrops kiss my face. I felt the Lord’s pleasure as I received His gift.

Then a quick warm shower and back to the summer frenzy.

Allow the Spirit of God to water you. And see how it revives your life.

When God Speaks…

Instead of asking does God speak, what if we asked, what do we do when God speaks.  I am convinced more and more of His desire to be known, explored —enjoyed. And I am also increasingly convinced of the “two-way street” reality of our relationship. It is not just me going to Him. Or Him pouring out on me. But instead it is a beautiful exchange, a passing of ideas and thoughts, a stirring in both hearts, mine and His.

In the same way that I am hopeful, even fervent, for His response, He is eager and awaiting mine. The word is giddy. Think excited kid before she opens up a present. Think a bride and groom before the pastor announces “the kiss.” Think grinning. Clapping hands. Raised eyebrows.  A giddy comment of  “Soooo, whatcha gonna do?” from Jesus.

This catches me off guard.  I love getting touches, kisses, insights, direction from the Lord.  But in recent months, these affections have  changed from a delightful act  to an incredible invitation.  My reactions have moved from “You are too sweet. Thanks, Lord,” to a head shaking, heart pounding, “You are joking, right Lord?”

Jesus is always inviting us into More. Holy Spirit is always revealing the Way into more. The question remains, how will we respond?

Just for fun, here is the crazy conversation He revealed on the way to the beach and home, via billboards.  If this isn’t crazy enough, look at the invitation to more that requires an answer.  And who, in their right mind, can refuse this Crazy Loving God??

Rest is required
Make outside the place to be
Fall in love all over again
Economic forecasts tend to be shovel ready
Change the way you advertise
Become a fan
Quality without question
Let me be your guide.
Why settle?
Unlock your future.
Whatever it takes. Wherever it takes us.
Uncommonly made. Uncommonly good.
Take home more. Be home more.
Going strong.
Ignite greatness.

 

WGR Class Fall Semester Begins August 23rd!!

What is WGR class?

Jana is inviting hungry women to pursue the scripture and stories to see how the Lord builds intimacy through our senses.  This is an unusual class with hands on activities, soaking worship, and real seasons to hear from the Lord personally and powerfully.

The class is for all ages and does not require perfect attendance. Or homework.

We are meeting every Thursday at Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church in room B203 from 6:30-8:30pm.  CSPC is located at the corner of Kingston Pike and Cedar Bluff at 9132 Kingston Pike.  Free childcare will be provided with registration.  Please click here to register.

We will also be live streaming class this year so you can tune in at home!  Just visit the WGR UStream channel at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/womengettingreal to join the class every week at 6:30pm EST!  

For specific details around the class please feel free to email us at info@womengettingreal.com.