truth

When New Life Arises

/ Jana / Leave a comment

IMG_1019

I almost pulled up the plant last weekend out of disappointment. I  thought it was dead. After I put it  in the ground last fall, I expected it to be one of the first things to bloom this spring. Forsythias are budding all over town and yet mine was only woody sticks. But yesterday, though still looking “mostly dead” there is one small branch of yellow life.

It prompted me to go look at other plants and trees I thought were dead. Sure enough, tiny buds or slightest shades of green were pushing up from the ground or out of brown bark.  Just like the Lord said last week, “Spring is coming.” Hope indeed is pushing tender buds out of cold winter earth once more.

As I pulled dead stalks of  flowers and scraped away mulch and leaves where buds should be, the Lord prompted me to consider the difference between New Life and Life from the Dead.

We love to say that Easter is about New Life. (Don’t even get me started on the Easter Bunny.) But New Life is looking for growth where I planted bulbs last year, or hoping for a positive pregnancy test. That is, we look for new life to come from seed that we have planted.

But Life from the Dead is altogether different. Death leads to decay.  Dust to dust. No one goes to a cemetery and expects to see a living person. No one goes to ashes or corpses and expects flesh or breath. And here rises a much more powerful hope.

We love, and are loved by, the God of the Resurrection.  He is the One who brought life and breath back into the dear, mangled  body of Jesus.  This is the true miracle of Easter. There was no hope left hanging on the empty cross. But when God called His Son back to life, then True Life began. A life beyond the curse, a life full of  truly living hope became ours through Him.

Life after death. Life instead of death. Life over death.

When Jesus came out of that grave, it wasn’t just about forgiveness of sin. It was about the Life that is now possible to us. In us. Through us.

Jeremy Caris said in church yesterday that God’s principle of “what you sow you will reap” is an eternal spiritual law.  And God in His goodness and mercy, “sowed Jesus” on our behalf so that we might reap a life that  is far more than we dreamed possible.

It is a wondrous thing to consider the meaning of Resurrection Sunday. It is a life-changing thing to consider where does my hope come from? And what do I believe God can do in me? Bring New Life? or Life back from the Dead?

.

 

Thawing out…

/ Jana / Leave a comment

It was one of those middle of the night Jesus wake-up calls.  I was having terrible dreams anyway  so the tug to get up was a relief.   I grabbed a blanket off the bed and sat in a chair in the dark. Chuck’s steady breathing was the only sound.

The last comment I remembered from my dream was “where is my heart?”  I just sat there in a half awake stupor trying to sort real from spirit from dreaming.  It was so bright outside that I thought  the moon was out but as my eyes adjusted I realized the white was snow.

I walked out into the kitchen and saw my snow- covered deck. “It’s supposed to be spring,” I mumbled to myself.  And as I pondered the paradox of snow in March, the lesson began.  “Your heart?” The Spirit pressed on me.

“My heart is covered in snow. It’s supposed to be blooming, but it’s covered in snow.” I whispered quietly.

“But Spring is coming,” He said.

“You’re gonna have to do something about this snow first, ” I said, half joking, half begging.  Then I heard a line from a song.  “All My love is for you, All My Love is yours.”

I stood there barefooted, wrapped in a blanket, stunned…

This conversation has been persisting for almost a week now.  And Jesus, being the “Faithful Strength” that He is, has been so patient, so tender, so encouraging.

Here are some points to ponder thus far:

Don’t rush the process. God is taking His own sweet time in bringing relief and revelation to me. So I am choosing to slow down, cut out, start fresh, whatever it takes to be able to listen when He brings insight.

Confess the hurt.  God is really challenging me to not fake, dismiss, or minimize the season. My heart is really going through the ringer. He is revealing wounding, sin and potential all in one loving step.  Only God can do that well.  But a few true friends can ease the journey.  So He has asked me to share, but to share with wisdom.  “Above all else, guard your heart.”  Don’t hide it, guard it.

Believe in the promises. Just because the route changes, doesn’t mean the destination has.  God has not changed His promises so He has asked me to stand on Him even when everything is shifting.  I can be uncomfortable, even miserable, and STILL be in Him.

All My love is yours.  Hard to feel sorry for yourself and believe this at the same time.  He has given medicine for every cut, and comfort for every heartache.  True to His nature, He has also given humor.

Look at the photo I took just yesterday.  I  rolled out ready to scrape off a layer of ice and the Lord stopped me. “Oh look,” He said. “There is ice on your car. But it is melting. I wonder what is melting the ice?” 

“Very funny.  You are so very funny. The sun…. or is that the Son? ” I said laughing. “I got it. I got it. The Son will melt the ice on my heart.”

Thank you Jesus. Your presence is our every hope.

IMG_0988

When is enough, enough?

/ Jana / 1 Comment

Time to get serious. The WGR class topic of “Appetites, Addictions, and Affections”  is really challenging me about why do we want what we want? And why are we rarely satisfied with what we want?

You can watch the classes online for these revelations about desire gone awry and its rescue. But for a sobering affect, I am sharing this photo from one of my summer cleansings.

66. Actually 66 pairs of shoes. There’s a good excuse or story about each pair. Sure some of them are old. Sure some of them are “special occasion” only. Some were from Goodwill, some were gifts. But stilll…66 pairs of shoes? Really?

I made myself pull them all out on the floor and look at them. It was gross. It was excessive. It was gluttony of a different kind. I had a flashback to high school when I had only four pairs of shoes. I had a flashback to my Zimbabwe trip in 2010 when the children and adults had No pairs.

So, when is enough, enough? shoes

I want to share part of my personal mandate.   It was a holy moment when Jesus whispered a secret in my ear of where we were going together. (Only in part you understand, He rarely gives us full detail.) And after a moment of incredulous joy I took a deep breath and said, “Wow, how are we going to that?”

“You must reorder your life,” He said.

That was in December 2011. And in the last 13 months He has continued to refocus my energies and attentions. He has brought books about simplifying, fasting, and letting go. He’s revealed moments of just how deep the affection for “more” really is in my heart. One moment was while we were on vacation. The beach condo we stayed at had a wickedly beautiful  walk-in closet. Chuck and I walked in and giggled, “Yeah baby, how about this?”  “This is what I need,” I said. “I hate how small our closets are at home.” I have an ongoing battle with my clothes being hung and put away, therefore clothes are often in piles on the floor.

Fast forward a couple of weeks through times with the Lord and some very pointed books about excess. I stood in front of my small but sufficient walk-in closet and I said out loud to the Lord, “How about I get rid of enough clothes to fit in my closet instead wanting a bigger closet for more clothes?” I felt Him nod in happy agreement.  Hence the reason my floor was covered in shoes.

Does it sound noble that I whittled my collection down to 33 pairs? Can I actually stomach the thought of that many pairs of shoes even though some of them are only worn once or twice a year? This is just one area of balancing that I am going after.

Here is what I am doing. You are welcome to join me. I am flushing my excess throughout my whole life. We swept  our bedrooms, including the girls’ rooms. If I don’t curb my “more” appetites, how will they learn they don’t “need” every toy, shirt, shoe, and stuff, stuff, stuff. They are so much happier now that there is room for “them” in their room, instead of their stuff. Then there are the books, our junk piles, my food choices. (Perhaps, just perhaps, Starbucks and Diet Coke is not a constitutional right.)

I asked a ministry that serves the homeless if they would take our clothes.  “Gladly, the homeless wear coats all year long,” she said. I put two coats in the box and was thankful and humbled that I had so many to choose from.

Here is the bottom line. God is asking me, and maybe you, to slough off those “things” that require our time. What do I spend time doing? Is it really necessary? If I didn’t have that, would I live? Would I have more time? more space to think? more energy to be with Him?

Not a hermit mindset, but a free one. More is really attainable. But it probably starts with less.

 

You can watch the  WGR class topic of “Appetites, Addictions, and Affections.”  online for more revelations about true freedom.

Listen for His song…

/ Jana / 1 Comment

I know this sounds crazy, but I was in a store the other day and heard “How Deep is Your Love” by the Bee Gees over the intercom.  I’ve never particularly been a fan of the Bee Gees. ( I know, blasphemy!)  Still a line from the song kept ringing through my head.

“How deep is your love, I really need to know.
Cause we’re living in a world of fools
Bringing us down…We belong to you and me”

Finally I had to go look up the lyrics because He wouldn’t leave me alone. And there it was — this old song with a present day message. Had He been singing it all along and I had been looking for a boy instead my God?

Then to really flip my head around, He showed me the song can be sung two ways.
Me (us) singing to God: How deep is your love, I really need to know.
Jesus singing to me (us): How deep is your love, I really need to know.
Talk about an attitude adjuster…I had to spend some serious time asking and answering that question.

And if that isn’t enough, the next day one line from a song penetrated my heart while at a restaurant.

“Longer than…I’ve been in love with you.”

Time stopped. No one with me knew that I had hit repeat 100 times on this song in college as  I cried my eyes out because I was so lonely. No one could figure the odds of hearing this song at this time and place. But He knew. And had known. He had been there in college, just like He was with me in the restaurant at that very moment.

I know He was standing there grinning at me, so proud of Himself for blowing me up.  So happy that I finally understood it was Him singing all along.  What a Lover.

The person with me asked why I was smiling?

“Oh I didn’t realized I was,” I said faintly. “I just heard a love song from a long time ago…”

Listen for Him. His song of love is everywhere, from the beginning of time and forever.

Room for Wonder

/ Jana / 1 Comment

We make all kinds of allowances for fear, worry and stress.  We take meds. We have talk shows. We have lots of diagnoses. But I am not sure we are actually getting any where.

My friend Heather said, “this way of life is scandalously simple.” Let me explain the math.

Jesus is the Son of God. He can do anything. (Check your own qualifiers and excuses that just surfaced.) He loves us completely, in fact He adores us.  Lavish is the word that comes to mind.  All through scripture we see Him saying radical things like:

  • Ask and believe.
  • With God all things are possible.
  • If you believe, you will see the glory of God.

Yet we don’t ask. We don’t be believe. And we don’t see His glory.

What are we waiting for??  The Lord told me the other day that I was too comfortable. I wasn’t attempting anything that needed a miracle.  A God life should be so big that it takes God to pull it off.  How big is your life, your ask, your need?  How big is your God? How great is your faith?  Mary turned to Jesus for help when they had run out of wine.  Not a life or death situation. Not healing. It was a party.  And after she asked she immediately turned to the servants and said, “do whatever he tells you do.”

Belief. Waiting. Expecting.

There should always be “room for wonder” in our lives. We have to let go of the control and confines and leave space for God to show up and show off. But instead of waiting in wonder, we often quit, lament, or take it back in our own hands.

Let’s be done, shall we?  Let’s whisper our prayers in faith, fully knowing that He listening and ready to pour out. Let’s pray for others knowing that God is ready to be God to them. Let’s do whatever he tells us. And then let’s sit back after the miracle with hearts full of wonder and give God all the glory for being God. He is so worthy of all our praise.

 

Songs in the Night

/ Jana / Leave a comment

“He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us”

The Lord woke me up with this song at 1:30 a.m.  I had gone to bed with a rolling question that needed His answer. And although this didn’t answer the specific, it absolutely answered the deeper, greater questions. Are you with me? Have you got me?

I remembered as I woke up this morning and saw this scribbled on my mirror what the chorus of the song is:

His love endures. Forever His love endures.

To make it even sweeter,  I had great memories of this song.  He and I  had just shared  the most amazing time on Sunday morning with this song. I had to go in the back of church and just sing out and dance in worship of Him. When I sat down Chuck turned and asked me, “Did you  just have a spell?”  Smiling ear to ear, I nodded yes.

How tender of the Lord to use it again in the middle of the night. This is the beauty of worship. Jesus said that true worshipers would worship in spirit and in truth. I don’t think I understood that verse fully until today. Now I see that  He planted that “truth” into my “spirit” on Sunday morning. And in the wee hours of Wednesday, He began harvesting its fruit. Worship is when His truth is deposited into our spirit. It is when our spirits are connected to His Spirit. It changes things in our present moments but also in our futures.

I had to abandon everything Sunday morning to get to that sweet spot with Him. The issues, the preferences, even the grumblings. I had to get to that place of intimacy that all I could see and feel was His presence. The great exchange… Breathe Him in. And watch Him pour back out when you need it most.

Bless you Lord for your amazing love.

The One Who Saves, by Hillsong

Come join the song, lift your voice
As Heaven and Earth give praise
Fall to your knees at the feet
Of the Son of the One true God

Turn from old ways, lift your eyes
For the kingdom of God is here
Open your heart, offer all
For Jesus Christ is here, now

We have found our home
We have found our peace
We have found our rest
In the One who loves

He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us

Call on the name that is hope
Jesus, the Son of God
Lord over all, He is good
And His mercy endures always

His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever and ever

Yes or No, both are Good

/ Jana / Leave a comment

Sometimes it is good to state the obvious.

My kids still act shocked by it, but on occasion, I tell them “No.”  I usually have  a good reason, or insight, or hunch that they may, or may not see– or agree with. But the answer remains a no. And, I still love them. I have begun saying to them, “My No is as loving as my Yes.” I want to plant in them that I am not mad when I say no. I am not delighting to torment them, or purposely spoiling their idea of fun.

As a parent, I have to look at the big picture, the overall story of what they want  and what I want, who else is involved, the long term effects, even the unforeseen consequences or rewards. Out of love, I tell them–yes. Out of love, I tell them– no. But both are love. My kids Love my yes answers. I get all kinds of gleeful responses. My no answers are not greeted with such enthusiasm.

I ask my kids to trust me even if they disagree. I ask them to trust that I am moving out of heart of love for them. Obvious, right?

Now if I do that so imperfectly, how much more trustworthy is Our Father? When the Spirit tells us ‘no, you can’t have that, do that, go there, say that,’ how much love is He showing us? He cares so much for us that He walks with us, in us. He says because of His goodness and abundance we can run full out.

God says with a smiling whisper, “Go!”  When we fall, no worries, He is there. Just get back up and keep running.

But then He says—no, stop, wait. He wants us to respond with as much love and affection as we do when He says run full out.  Picture His face when He says no.  Is He scowling, condemning, smirking, or ridiculing? God forbid.

He is still smiling, with a secret twinkle in His eyes, and whispers, “No. But trust Me. I can only give you good.”

God does say “no.” And He still loves you. It’s obvious. But we need to translate it rightly. His no is as loving as His yes.

Don’t work more, worship more.

/ Jana / Leave a comment

I am reading this AMAZING book called, Compelled by Love, by Heidi Baker. She and her husband are lovers of Jesus and they pour out their lives to orphans in Mozambique, Africa. She says the poor and orphaned have taught her how to love. Talk about a paradigm shift.

Beyond her degrees, Powerpoints, and fundraising back up plans, she said that they have entered into the Life of Jesus — only. If God doesn’t show up, there is no food. If God doesn’t show up, there is no healing. If God doesn’t show up, they have no protection. So they worship… in everything. And God often responds in miracles and wonderful outpourings that many of us would have trouble believing. But her first goal, her first action, her first response is worship. She knows that the Presence of God is the only way she can live in the pressing need all around her.

Last night, I sat on my bed reading her God stories and just cried.  Cried over the goodness of God. Cried over the way I get distracted and faithless.  Cried over the groan and ache I have for more of Jesus, and yet –I still want my stuff, my way, my comfort.

Then I turned the page and saw a quote from Mother Teresa. She was asked how she managed to face the overwhelming needs day after day. She said:
“My secret is very simple: I pray. Through prayer I become one in love with Christ.

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depths of our heart.”

At first I read this and was so comforted. But then I looked at the “overwhelming needs” of my day. And I wanted to throw up.

Am I feeding the poor? Caring for orphans? Am I doing something besides being distracted by the lies of my culture (more stuff, more bills, more beauty products)  and seeking entertainment? (Do I even pray about my  “friends” on Facebook? )

Will I invest even one honest season of worship in His presence without all the Christian trappings and just look for His face?

I would love to tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes. But I’m not so sure I can. What I can tell you is that I closed the book and began to pray. First I confessed my willingness to settle for the “pressure of the world” rather than seeking His power in my world. I thanked Him for the blessings of food, shelter, and abundance. When compared to most of the world, I live like a queen. And I can be as demanding and as ungrateful as a queen also. So I thanked Him for His grace and patience with me.

Then I began to pray for the poor and orphaned— in my life. Men and women who are poor in spirit, the people who in live life without the Father’s assurance. They (we) all need to be fed and comforted just like the abandoned ones in countries thousands of mile away. Then my heart turned to just speaking who He is, and how much I need Him and love Him, that He is the answer to all.

He is our greatest ache and groan.

Finally, I just sat in silence. And His presence came.

What did it feel like? Peace. Enveloping, warm, full of light. Peace. Peace that doesn’t always make sense or add up. “Peace that transcends understanding.” But a blanket of “I love you” just draped around me.

His Presence changes things. Our worship stirs His heart and then He stirs ours. He rights our view of our little world when we are reminded, again, it is His world. He is the loving King of all with not only the power but the desire to be God to us and for us.

Today, don’t plan a little more or work a little harder. Worship a little more. And watch God move.

Render Miracles of Our Sin

/ Jana / Leave a comment

What a crazy call.  A friend of mine who had completely given up hope on her marriage called to tell me that God had changed her heart. You have to understand how radical this is. They are separated. They have been at war for years. And the last time we talked, my friend and I were trying to process how to go through the death of a marriage in a graceful way, like walking through a funeral.

And now, a couple of weeks later she is different. Completely different. “I do want to be married…and to him!” she said through choking words. She sees now that she had never been willing to do what it would take to make her marriage work. “I have never been willing to change myself.  I always wanted him to change.”

We pray her estranged husband  will try again too, but watching the Lord soften and heal and completely renovate this wife’s heart is faith building. You can’t believe how bad this story has been.  I listened to her recent revelation with the Lord and  I was dumbfounded. And humbled. She said “I thought about you and Chuck and what God has done.” She named two other mutual friends’ marriages that God had resurrected from dry bones. “If God could heal you all, as bad as you were, then maybe there is something I’m missing here,” she said.

As I relayed the good news to Chuck, we both just sat on the phone stunned. “That’s crazy,” he said. “I mean, who would have believed that this could happen?” Many of us have prayed for breakthrough and deliverance. But when the husband moved out, we felt like it was  over and dead. But God. I am glad that God has enough faith  for all of us.

“It’s a miracle. Really. It is a miracle in our midst,” I said quietly.

Three things  stir in my heart. Share your God stories. No matter how messy and ugly and painful. If God has been God to you through heartache, if you have a story of dry bones brought back to life, then breathe that glory out on others.

At Yes and Amen we talked a lot about the power of God to breathe new life on dead bones. All around the room you could see women sharing their stories. Eating disorders  now healed, marriages being restored, parent relationships being bridged… God’s heart is to heal us all if we will only ask and believe Him to move. And we need to hear that God is still God. Share your stories even if they are not “happily ever after” yet. By faith, we must keep on believing and speaking all that God is doing.

The second thing is hold onto the power of redemption. Really, really. The power of God put on display is not when we do it “Just Right” and He gives us a pat on the back. He does love our maturing in Him for sure. But until we mature, or as we mature, He loves when we bring everything to Him to restore and renew and well—to Be God. God is constantly wanting to be God for us, if we will only ask, believe and receive.

There is a beautiful line in a Caedmon’s Call song called “Carry Your Love.” It says, “change us from within/ render miracles from our sin.”  Only God can do that —take our sin and turn it in to something beautiful for His glory.  That word render  is so potent. Look it up sometime. “To melt down, to give in return, to transmit to another.”

All of those are so different in meaning but so God. His glory melts our sin and converts it into something mold-able in His Hands. He gives us beauty in return for ashes. We give him mess and brokenness, He gives us more of Himself, full of joy, possibility, new mercies. He transmits His very life into our own. Remember in Narnia? Aslan would breathe on the children, and their fears would vanish. In place of lack, He would “breathe into them”, transmit to them  His power, His presence.

And third?  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Keep believing. What are your dead bones? Ask Him to breathe on them and then believe for your own heart change to happen too. May He render miracles of our sin.

Carry Your Love
We are called out; we are ransomed
We are not of the world were in
We are chosen; we are blessed
to bring light to the lives of men
So Father sow your seed
Give us life in community
Wake us from our sleep
This is your time; this is your place
and we are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

You are sunlight you are morning
Your the hope of a brand new day
Your are comfort; you are blessing
and you wipe all our tears away
So change us from within
Render miracles from our sin
Remind us once again
This is your time;this is your place
We are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

Sweetly Broken Abortion Healing Retreat

/ HeatherT / Leave a comment

“I thought I was over it.”

“I’ve never told anyone.”

“I’m afraid God is punishing me.”

“How can I make this right?”

“How can I forgive…?”

We know how you feel.  We have been there too.Through the fear, nightmares, denial, anger and regrets.

BUT we have passed through to a new place called peace, and true forgiveness.

We are still sad about the fact of our past, but we are no longer held captive by it.

God has shown us there is beauty in our brokenness.

We invite you to a tender, honest and safe weekend to
hear about how to walk forward in freedom.

What you can expect:

Time to process

Time to worship

Time to hear truth

Time to be honest

Time to sort out what’s next?

Teaching and materials by Jana Spicka.

2 night’s lodging at a lake house in Louisville, TN.

Check in at 5pm. First session at 7pm.  Check out Sunday at 11am.

Four meals and snacks. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday morning. (Friday night dinner is on your own before first session.)

This is an intimate gathering for 9 women.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.